Reflections on a Mass

I went to a Catholic mass with my roommates and house mum last Sunday. After I came back I wrote this to sort of describe what happened and how God worked in me during the service.

I fidget on the hard wooden bench,
Search the brilliantly dull glass faces
Of saints who supposedly can pray for me.
The fume of incense is intoxicating me,
And I wonder if it's rude to plug my nose
As the adolescent boy in white swings
The silver object releasing its scent.
I ask myself how they could ever think
To deify Mary, give her the place of honor
Instead of my risen Christ. Should I take
Communion, when I am so very not Catholic?
I don't want to judge, but this showy religion--
It's suffocating me, like its incense stench!
How can I eat the wafer, when they proclaim
It's the literal flesh of God's own Son,
Not a symbol of Christ's cross and covenant?
The priest says a word in monotone voice,
And I follow the others in kneeling down
On the board in front-- there's actually cushion,
Praise the Lord! I try to follow the words,
But cannot concentrate, my indignant thoughts
Bombarding my mind. Then I catch a glimpse
Over my folded hands, ahead three pews,
There, a toddler girl, in jeans and pink,
Striped shirt. Her binky plugs any sound,
But she doesn't seem to want to cry.
Her joyous blue eyes meet my bored ones,
A smile almost dislodges her pacifier.
Suddenly the odor of perfume fades,
The theological mental discourse stills,
And I see more clearly the Christ figure
Adorning the corners of the church. I grin,
The girl laughs. She ducks her dark brown head
Behind the wooden pew, daring me to guess
The place where she has hidden. Her head
Pops up above the pew, giggling muffled
By the binky. I try not to laugh aloud,
But can't help but play with the toddler.
"Let the little children come to Me," I hear
Repeating in my mind. "For to such
Is the kingdom of Heaven." Thus the joy
Of a toddler rebuked my judgment,
Reminding me of my place: to worship
And to love my King, for what's needed
Isn't my judging, but God's deep love.