Months 1-3 after wedding: Time is spent recovering from wedding, returning/exchanging items, using gift cards, and putting together wedding album. The bride's mind keeps pushing the thank-you cards to a dark corner, remembering that etiquette allows an entire year. The groom has most likely learned to tag along on shopping trips and say yes to bride's decisions, but may or may not even realize that thank-you cards are necessary ever.
Month 4: The bride has started to plan her thank-you cards, the groom listening patiently. She imagines cute, hand-cut cards with calligraphy and perfectly matched wedding colors. She may have found the perfect example on Pinterest.
Month 5: The bride has turned to Shutterfly or Costco for photo cards. She's played with designs for hours, wrote and rewrote the basic text, and looked enviously at different bloggers' cards. The groom has offered very strong emotional support.
Month 6: After seeing the cost of ordering dozens of photo cards, the bride has either a) Gone into mourning, complete with sackcloth and ashes, b) started to eat Ramen for every meal in an attempt to save money, or c) decided to revert back to Months 1-3, constantly reminding her conscience that she still has 6 months of leeway (after all, people could still send gifts!). At this point the groom has either a) provided cookie dough and chocolate for his mourning bride, b) secretly eaten at Subway every day because he's sick of Ramen, or c) decided to go on an extended (and well-justified) camping trip.
Month 7: The bride has found cheap thank-you cards that, under some lighting, may be near one of her wedding colors. She buys them in desperation, with the full support of her groom. She now spends the next week handwriting carefully formed thank-yous, addressing envelopes, cutting her tongue on the seals, and trying to figure out what else to write besides "Thank you for the wonderful turkey statue." The groom has dutifully signed every note.
Month 8: After developing carpal tunnel and having the taste of glue in her mouth for days, the bride has successfully completed her thank-you cards. Until she remembers the $25 check from the groom's great-uncle Melvin. Sighing deeply, she looks at her guest list again--she's forgotten five gifts. The cards came in multiples of 50, and she has none leftover. At this point the groom becomes the most helpful person in the entire process, as he calmly talks the bride out of jumping off the nearest cliff.
Month 12: The deadline has come and gone. The bride has stepped away from the cards long enough to remember why she is writing them--she is a blessed woman who has many friends. The groom is relieved, until he finds out that the process will be repeated with the birth of their first child.
2 comments:
Once again you amaze with your writing ability. I thoroughly enjoyed this and it is SO true! Thankfully or hopefully the birth of said first child will not be for a couple of years and so your hand/wrist will have sufficient time to heal. Also,next time use a sponge or wet paper towel (keep a dish of water nearby to remoisten as necessary) and employ the father in wiping down the seals instead of licking them. =) much faster and your taste buds will thank you. I love you guys!!
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