When I went to London, I went to London alone. Many nights were spent frustrated, crying, and feeling absolutely alone. I was never able to plug into a church, and 99% of the students at my program didn't know the Lord or knew a false idea of Him. It was in the loneliness that God met me and showed me more of Who He was, not Who everyone else was telling me He was. I was given the ability to adore His beauty and to see it in things I hadn't seen it in before. I was able to seek Him before humans because He was the only one to help me sometimes. And in the midst of all this I learned to love the sinner without trying to save them myself.
Now, in Tacoma, I've faced a different sort of loneliness. For a great deal of my summer most of my closest friends have been absent in one way or another. I've had to learn to seek the Lord before my friends, even now that my friends aren't several thousand miles away. And you know what it's done? It's forced me to trust my God.
I've had to learn to trust God and not my own understanding or others' understanding. I'm still learning to trust Him even when I don't have a job or a place set up for the fall. I've just barely begun to stop setting my eyes on myself and see that God has much bigger things going on around me.
School probably shows best what God is doing in me right now. I've never thought that I was a poet. In fact, I didn't really like poetry. That is, until last January when, by the grace of God, my professor taught me the basics and then told me that I was incredibly gifted and should pursue poetry. Through a strange series of events God stripped me of my own attempts at planning my school year. He kept me from choosing what I felt I could have done by my own power pretty easily. And then, in His own ways, He confirmed that I was to take more poetry classes. Scared to death, I enrolled in Intermediate Poetry in order to take the poetry capstone in the spring, making my entire PLU career focused on poetry.
I can't write poetry on my own. I can't be a poet without God directly working in me. It needs to be God. Where before school was my comfort zone, now God has made it someplace where I need to be completely dependent on Him. And it's exciting. I have my loved ones close to me again, but now I get to be blessed by them while trusting my God to sustain me. Praise God!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Football, Temper Tantrums, and Bookstores
Two months back in the States. Is it possible? Most of my British mannerisms seem to be gone, although it was really hard to say the word soccer during the World Cup. It makes more sense to call it football, especially since most of the world does!
I'm nannying Mondays and Thursdays this summer for a family with 6 kids. It's been challenging, to be sure, but also kind of fun. I'm learning so much, too. For instance, children cannot comprehend the big picture. You tell them they can't eat a snack at 4:30 because dinner's at 5:00, and they wonder why you're so mean as to starve them like that. After I'm done getting impatient, I realize how similar I am to that child. After all, I like to pretend that I know what I need better than God does. How could He delay giving me what I ask Him? Doesn't He know I need it right now? How many times have I thrown my own adult temper tantrums because God didn't allow me to spoil my appetite for the good things He had planned for me?
I'm really enjoying not being in a long distance relationship. Jason and I have been able to spend lots of quality time together, and the Lord has totally been working in both of us together. This last week we spent a day in Port Townsend, where we had a picnic, explored a creepy old fort, and visited the really cool Victorian downtown. The highlight was for sure the old bookstore we found- by the grace of God, I was able to limit myself to buying only 3 books!
I'm missing London a lot, but God is blessing me this summer. :)
I'm nannying Mondays and Thursdays this summer for a family with 6 kids. It's been challenging, to be sure, but also kind of fun. I'm learning so much, too. For instance, children cannot comprehend the big picture. You tell them they can't eat a snack at 4:30 because dinner's at 5:00, and they wonder why you're so mean as to starve them like that. After I'm done getting impatient, I realize how similar I am to that child. After all, I like to pretend that I know what I need better than God does. How could He delay giving me what I ask Him? Doesn't He know I need it right now? How many times have I thrown my own adult temper tantrums because God didn't allow me to spoil my appetite for the good things He had planned for me?
I'm really enjoying not being in a long distance relationship. Jason and I have been able to spend lots of quality time together, and the Lord has totally been working in both of us together. This last week we spent a day in Port Townsend, where we had a picnic, explored a creepy old fort, and visited the really cool Victorian downtown. The highlight was for sure the old bookstore we found- by the grace of God, I was able to limit myself to buying only 3 books!
I'm missing London a lot, but God is blessing me this summer. :)
Friday, May 14, 2010
A Fond Farewell
Today I went to Borough Market with Lizzie and Hannah Lee and roamed the food market (like Pike's Place, but very much a London market). We ordered pies and a pasty for lunch and ate in the courtyard of the church where Shakespeare worshiped, down the road from the Globe. We had a long conversation with the distinctly English man selling us fresh Turkish Delight, and we bought hot mulled wine from two men who told us their recipe and how they don't add sugar like other mulled wine makers. Lizzie and I took our last double-decker bus to Waterloo Station and then crossing the foot bridge, saying goodbye to Big Ben and the London Eye from our view above the Thames River. I went off on my own to the National Portrait Gallery, said hi to Henry VIII and William Morris and Queen Elizabeth II and Oscar Wilde. I visited the tea shop on the Strand, bought myself a tea tidy so I can make a proper cup of tea back in the States. Then, picking up a London Evening Standard, I descended into Charing Cross Underground Station and took the Tube back to Alice's house.
Farewell, London, my dear, dear friend. I will return.
Farewell, London, my dear, dear friend. I will return.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Restlessness
I can't concentrate on anything.
Sleep doesn't come easily, and when it comes it's too long or too short.
I'm not worried about finals, and it's hard to force myself to study.
A large suitcase sits underneath my desk, a duffel bag next to my chair, and every so often I get the urge to add things to their half-empty bodies.
My shelves are half-filled, a large stack of books now transferred to my dresser where they await their return to the AHA building.
I'm constantly trying to think of things I can leave behind or use up so that my luggage will be lighter for travel.
I treat myself to drinks or scones or other British food, knowing that it might be my last chance to savour these things for a long time.
I tell my heart to be still, my mind to focus on homework, my restless body to settle down; it doesn't work.
I'm leaving my home.
I'm going home.
Sleep doesn't come easily, and when it comes it's too long or too short.
I'm not worried about finals, and it's hard to force myself to study.
A large suitcase sits underneath my desk, a duffel bag next to my chair, and every so often I get the urge to add things to their half-empty bodies.
My shelves are half-filled, a large stack of books now transferred to my dresser where they await their return to the AHA building.
I'm constantly trying to think of things I can leave behind or use up so that my luggage will be lighter for travel.
I treat myself to drinks or scones or other British food, knowing that it might be my last chance to savour these things for a long time.
I tell my heart to be still, my mind to focus on homework, my restless body to settle down; it doesn't work.
I'm leaving my home.
I'm going home.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Beatles, Cricket, a Punt, Fish, and a Box
So I'm currently in a rush to try and mark things off my "To Do Before I Leave London" list. Here's some of the highlights of this past week:
*Some friends and I went to Abbey Road.
*My history class visited Lord's Cricket Grounds, the center of cricket. I'm still pretty foggy on the rules of cricket, but I did sort of figure it out by the time we left the match.
*I saw the play Women Beware Women, the musical Billy Elliot, and Riverdance. The play was really twisted but in an odd way beautiful, the musical had incredible dancing and one of the best child actors I've ever seen, and Riverdance was way overpriced but beautiful and fun.
*I got to hang out with Jason's roommate from last year, Luke, and his friend from his study abroad program in Ireland. It was fun to catch up and show them around. I've missed Luke!
*Katy and our friend Corinne and I went back to Oxford on Friday. We tried a punt (those long boats with poles that you use to push it through the river) and utterly failed, so we ended up taking a pedal boat down the river. We went back to the Eagle and Child, and we bought university clothing. This time I got to go see the Magdalen College, where C. S. Lewis taught! It was incredible, I nearly cried. Everyone was so nice to us, too. The porter at Magdalen let us each get in for one pound "on account of the bad weather" (it's normally 3 pound fifty each). Afterward when we went to Merton College (the one where Tolkien taught), the porter let us in for free instead of the usual two pound fifty. The picture below is of Lewis's rooms at Magdalen.
*On Saturday some friends and I went to Brighton, a hippie town by the sea. It was beautiful, much like a colder British version of a South California beach town. We rode a carousel, went to a pub, went shopping, relaxed on the rocky shore. Oh, and I ate fish and chips for the first time in England. I know, I know, how could I spend 3 months in England and not eat fish and chips? Well, I don't like fish, so this was a breakthrough for me. I made it through, but I think that I've had enough breakthrough in this area to last me awhile. I'll stick to steak and ale pie. ;)
I'm having a great time, and I'm loving London more and more. Yet, the best part of this week came Thursday night, when I got home late and found a package waiting for me on my bed. Whitney had brought it back for me (she had class and so got to the mail when I didn't), and she had placed an airmail sticker on the customs form to cover up what was inside the box. I waited until I had finished up my other tasks for the night. I crawled into bed, exhausted, kind of grumpy, frustrated over plans; I picked up the box. Opening it, all I did was read the introduction letter from Jason before I started crying. Jason had asked my friends to write letters and notes of encouragement to me, and he had sent them all to me via ridiculously expensive and slow air mail. As I read the notes one by one, I was overcome by how much I am loved- by Jason, by my friends, by God! The words were right on, and the encouragement was exactly what I needed at that moment.
I love London, but I can't wait to see my amazing friends in person. The box is helping me last until May 15th. :)
*Some friends and I went to Abbey Road.
*My history class visited Lord's Cricket Grounds, the center of cricket. I'm still pretty foggy on the rules of cricket, but I did sort of figure it out by the time we left the match.
*I saw the play Women Beware Women, the musical Billy Elliot, and Riverdance. The play was really twisted but in an odd way beautiful, the musical had incredible dancing and one of the best child actors I've ever seen, and Riverdance was way overpriced but beautiful and fun.
*I got to hang out with Jason's roommate from last year, Luke, and his friend from his study abroad program in Ireland. It was fun to catch up and show them around. I've missed Luke!
*Katy and our friend Corinne and I went back to Oxford on Friday. We tried a punt (those long boats with poles that you use to push it through the river) and utterly failed, so we ended up taking a pedal boat down the river. We went back to the Eagle and Child, and we bought university clothing. This time I got to go see the Magdalen College, where C. S. Lewis taught! It was incredible, I nearly cried. Everyone was so nice to us, too. The porter at Magdalen let us each get in for one pound "on account of the bad weather" (it's normally 3 pound fifty each). Afterward when we went to Merton College (the one where Tolkien taught), the porter let us in for free instead of the usual two pound fifty. The picture below is of Lewis's rooms at Magdalen.
*On Saturday some friends and I went to Brighton, a hippie town by the sea. It was beautiful, much like a colder British version of a South California beach town. We rode a carousel, went to a pub, went shopping, relaxed on the rocky shore. Oh, and I ate fish and chips for the first time in England. I know, I know, how could I spend 3 months in England and not eat fish and chips? Well, I don't like fish, so this was a breakthrough for me. I made it through, but I think that I've had enough breakthrough in this area to last me awhile. I'll stick to steak and ale pie. ;)
I'm having a great time, and I'm loving London more and more. Yet, the best part of this week came Thursday night, when I got home late and found a package waiting for me on my bed. Whitney had brought it back for me (she had class and so got to the mail when I didn't), and she had placed an airmail sticker on the customs form to cover up what was inside the box. I waited until I had finished up my other tasks for the night. I crawled into bed, exhausted, kind of grumpy, frustrated over plans; I picked up the box. Opening it, all I did was read the introduction letter from Jason before I started crying. Jason had asked my friends to write letters and notes of encouragement to me, and he had sent them all to me via ridiculously expensive and slow air mail. As I read the notes one by one, I was overcome by how much I am loved- by Jason, by my friends, by God! The words were right on, and the encouragement was exactly what I needed at that moment.
I love London, but I can't wait to see my amazing friends in person. The box is helping me last until May 15th. :)
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Happy St. George's Day! And happy birthday, William!
Friday was St. George's Day. St. George is the patron saint of England; I believe he slayed a dragon, I'm not sure what else he did. The flag of England in theory should be shown on St. George's Day, which is a white flag with a red cross (NOT to be confused with the British flag, the Union Jack we're familiar with). The people of England, with their huge amount of English pride, do basically nothing for their official holiday.
BUT, the good news is that scholars believe that William Shakespeare was born and died on that same day, April 23rd. That means that literary and theatrical nerds from all over the world travel to Shakespeare's hometown of Stratford-upon-Avon to celebrate. Our program had the wonderful chance to participate in this pilgrimage.
Once we got to Stratford-upon-Avon on Friday, we almost immediately visited Shakespeare's grave, his birthplace, and the house he was living in when he died. The grave was, well, a grave. Really, I've never understood the big deal about seeing graves. The birthplace was fun to visit; in honor of Shakespeare's birthday photography was allowed in the house and there was mead tasting in the garden (I kind of liked mead, by the way). I almost couldn't tear myself away from the giftshop! The last house was kind of boring; the garden is getting torn apart right now because archeologists are digging it up to find Shakespeare relics, and the house didn't have much to see.
After our museum visits, Katy, Whitney, Sarah, and I happened upon a souvenir shop which was selling cheap St. George's Day items. We couldn't help but get in the spirit- each of us got a little English flag to wave. It got better, though. When we went to a pub for dinner, we discovered a collection of St. George's Day English flag crowns- like Burger King crowns, only selling ale instead of burgers. Katy bravely asked the bartender if we could have some. Apparently the bartender was a little puzzled, but they let us take them. We spent the majority of the remainder of our time in Stratford-upon-Avon with crowns on our heads and little flags waving.
That night we watched a performance of King Lear by the Royal Shakespeare Company. All I can say is, wow. It was intense, to say the least. A tragedy with themes of the Apocalypse and betrayal and insanity, it was incredibly well done but also very hard to watch.
We all spent the night in various Bed & Breakfasts (sooooo nice after our hostel experiences!). The next day we hurried off to Anne Hathaway's house (the house where Shakespeare's wife lived before she married). It was very lovely, had beautiful gardens and another all-too-tempting gift shop. After we finished, we went to the parade. Every year they hold a parade with important town officials, various schools, boy scouts, girl guides, drama groups, and other random people. The parade ends at Shakespeare's grave, by which everyone lays down flowers. It was a lot of fun, and an older couple in the parade gave Katy and I sprigs of rosemary when they saw our English spirit (rosemary is traditionally worn on that day to symbolize remembrance). I decided that when I have kids I want to dress up in Elizabethan clothes with my husband and my little kids and take part in the parade. You would agree with me if you saw how adorable the kids were!
Probably the other best part of the day was our ferry ride. For 50 pence (roughly 75 cents) we got take about a 5-minute ferry ride across the river. For the celebration, a Royal Shakespeare Company actor rode on the boat and recited a sonnet to us. So lovely! There were also actors roaming the town and randomly acting scenes from A Midsummer Night's Dream. It was always fun when we stumbled upon a fight scene.
On the train ride home we had one more adventure. It just so happened that we were sharing our train car with two of the actors from King Lear! One of them, Kathryn Hunter, played a really, really great fool, and she's also been in some films (like Harry Potter). We were able to get their autographs and talk to them for a short time. The play was so good, we were slightly starstruck by our run-in.
My weekend was so much fun! I still can hardly believe I had the opportunity to do all of this. I am so blessed. :)
BUT, the good news is that scholars believe that William Shakespeare was born and died on that same day, April 23rd. That means that literary and theatrical nerds from all over the world travel to Shakespeare's hometown of Stratford-upon-Avon to celebrate. Our program had the wonderful chance to participate in this pilgrimage.
Once we got to Stratford-upon-Avon on Friday, we almost immediately visited Shakespeare's grave, his birthplace, and the house he was living in when he died. The grave was, well, a grave. Really, I've never understood the big deal about seeing graves. The birthplace was fun to visit; in honor of Shakespeare's birthday photography was allowed in the house and there was mead tasting in the garden (I kind of liked mead, by the way). I almost couldn't tear myself away from the giftshop! The last house was kind of boring; the garden is getting torn apart right now because archeologists are digging it up to find Shakespeare relics, and the house didn't have much to see.
After our museum visits, Katy, Whitney, Sarah, and I happened upon a souvenir shop which was selling cheap St. George's Day items. We couldn't help but get in the spirit- each of us got a little English flag to wave. It got better, though. When we went to a pub for dinner, we discovered a collection of St. George's Day English flag crowns- like Burger King crowns, only selling ale instead of burgers. Katy bravely asked the bartender if we could have some. Apparently the bartender was a little puzzled, but they let us take them. We spent the majority of the remainder of our time in Stratford-upon-Avon with crowns on our heads and little flags waving.
That night we watched a performance of King Lear by the Royal Shakespeare Company. All I can say is, wow. It was intense, to say the least. A tragedy with themes of the Apocalypse and betrayal and insanity, it was incredibly well done but also very hard to watch.
We all spent the night in various Bed & Breakfasts (sooooo nice after our hostel experiences!). The next day we hurried off to Anne Hathaway's house (the house where Shakespeare's wife lived before she married). It was very lovely, had beautiful gardens and another all-too-tempting gift shop. After we finished, we went to the parade. Every year they hold a parade with important town officials, various schools, boy scouts, girl guides, drama groups, and other random people. The parade ends at Shakespeare's grave, by which everyone lays down flowers. It was a lot of fun, and an older couple in the parade gave Katy and I sprigs of rosemary when they saw our English spirit (rosemary is traditionally worn on that day to symbolize remembrance). I decided that when I have kids I want to dress up in Elizabethan clothes with my husband and my little kids and take part in the parade. You would agree with me if you saw how adorable the kids were!
Probably the other best part of the day was our ferry ride. For 50 pence (roughly 75 cents) we got take about a 5-minute ferry ride across the river. For the celebration, a Royal Shakespeare Company actor rode on the boat and recited a sonnet to us. So lovely! There were also actors roaming the town and randomly acting scenes from A Midsummer Night's Dream. It was always fun when we stumbled upon a fight scene.
On the train ride home we had one more adventure. It just so happened that we were sharing our train car with two of the actors from King Lear! One of them, Kathryn Hunter, played a really, really great fool, and she's also been in some films (like Harry Potter). We were able to get their autographs and talk to them for a short time. The play was so good, we were slightly starstruck by our run-in.
My weekend was so much fun! I still can hardly believe I had the opportunity to do all of this. I am so blessed. :)
Thursday, April 22, 2010
The Lion King
So Katy and I got the chance to see The Lion King musical on the West End last night. Because of the lovely practice of student concession prices, we got £53 seats in the front row of the first balcony for £21! Such a great view, it was fantastic. I was excited to see the play, but it moved me in a way I wasn't expecting. At the introduction, with incredible, massive puppets making it up the aisles, ensemble members singing African lyrics from boxes on either side of us, the music from the orchestra coming from below- something about it really affected me. Perhaps it's the Xhosa that they use, or the South African cast members, I don't know, but as the musical began I was hit by it- this is Africa! That essence, that indescribable feeling that is Africa, they got it right! I was moved to tears, and I wasn't even completely sure why. I lived for three weeks in Capetown, in Manenberg, not "real Africa" (that's how I had reasoned with myself for the past 8 months). But no, I realized that it was still Africa, and, even though it wasn't as strong as others had it, I had the Africa effect. The Lion King, in its amazing capturing of Africa, brought me to tears.
The musical itself was fantastic. Definitely not perfect, I had some problems with the production, but it was very good. It felt like African folklore (only more entertaining than the folklore I read in my mythology class last fall), on an epic scale. So much fun! I love how God keeps on giving me great tickets to great theatre. :)
(Here's a link if you'd like to watch some clips from the musical: http://www2.disney.co.uk/MusicalTheatre/TheLionKing/home/index.jsp)
The musical itself was fantastic. Definitely not perfect, I had some problems with the production, but it was very good. It felt like African folklore (only more entertaining than the folklore I read in my mythology class last fall), on an epic scale. So much fun! I love how God keeps on giving me great tickets to great theatre. :)
(Here's a link if you'd like to watch some clips from the musical: http://www2.disney.co.uk/MusicalTheatre/TheLionKing/home/index.jsp)
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