You know that thing that's always lingering in the back of your mental to do list?
- Go to gym.
- Go to bank.
- Go grocery shopping.
- Do this thing that you'll never get around to doing.
It's in italics, a thought within a thought. It's last, because everything else seems more manageable.
Maybe the gym is that last item for you. (It often makes that spot on my list.) Maybe it's calling a relative you don't talk to very often. Maybe it's reading your Bible, or reading in general.
As long as we're being honest about our last items, I should confess something. Writing has been that item for me for more than ten years. It's evolved over time and in different circumstances, but it's more or less been the same.
- Finish homework.
- Go to gym.
- Write thank-you letter.
- Write.
It's not even that I don't enjoy writing. But, just like going to the gym, sometimes it can be the initial push that's the hard, insurmountable hill between you and accomplishment and even joy.
This blog has been no exception. I'll often think, "That would be a good blog post idea." But then I think, "Well, it's been so long, I don't think anyone would read it anyway," or, "But I think my blog needs a better purpose before I write more." I even contemplated scrapping this blog altogether and writing a completely new one. I didn't, but I did renovate this one to make myself feel better.
Yet it's even more than this. If this blog is about my life, it's been quiet because my life has been quiet. It's been, well, boring this past year or so. And I'm okay with that. Lord knows we could use some quiet!
I don't think this next year will be as boring as last year. I'm also okay with that, and I'll try and share some of the adventures with anyone who cares to read. And, with time and persistence, I think my last item will no longer be in italics, then it will slowly creep up the list, until the day that I stop making it a part of my mental chore list and start joyfully making it a part of living.
